“If you can hold the stars in place // You can hold my heart the same // So here I am, lifting up my heart // To the one who holds the stars” [Stars by Skillet]
As I was walking ‘home’ this evening, I stood in awe of the sheer amount of stars visible to my eyes. Let me tell you, you see quite a few more in Northern Arizona at 7,000’ than in Southern California at 800’. I have a feeling that more than just the stars are going to catch my eye this summer. For the next eighty days I get to wear a nametag, carry a walkie talkie, and serve as the waterfront intern at Younglife’s Lost Canyon. I traded my jeans and jcrew tops for nike shorts and tshirts.
Sometimes I get it stuck in my head that my battles are either too big for God to fight or too small to even be significant. I am at the point in my life where relationship troubles, medication management, and feeling loved seem far too insignificant for God to even think twice about. “This is how we know that we belong to the truth and how we set our hearts at rest in his presence: If our hearts condemn us, we know that God is greater than our hearts, and he knows everything.” [1 John 3:19-20] The enemy would not even bother to intertwine lies with my insecurities if my heart wasn’t with the Lord. As written in 1 John, “this is how we know that we belong to the truth”. I have been walking with the Lord for almost five years now and the enemy has narrowed done the scope of his attacks. He no longer attacks my identity in the Lord, instead he focuses on my desire to be fully known and loved still. He tells me that if people really knew me, they wouldn’t love me. These words burn holdes in my heart, but thankfully “God is greater than our hearts”. “The lord will fight for [us], [we] only need to be still.” [Exodus 14:14] Sweet friends. That. Is. It. God is greater than any doubt in your heart, and he desires more than anything to fight for you. No battle is too big for Him to fight and no thought is too insignificant for Him to care about.
Day in and day out I make the conscious [and sometimes difficult] decision to lay down my life at the feet of the Lord. One at a time. I usually start with my mental health and end somewhere around me fear of being known and not loved. I could very easily say “I lay it all before You” but genuinely find so much strength in being able to name my battles. “So here I am, lifting up my heart. To the one who holds the stars.” [Stars by Skillet] Just to clarify, I would like to equate laying down one’s life at the feet of the Lord with lifting one’s heart up to the Lord. I have no intention of belittling the difficulty of laying down one’s life in front of the Lord. A half-hearted okay is not going to be enough this time. Friends, I know that our hearts are heavy with the troubles of this world. Looking up at the black expanse and taking in the artfully places constellations I was confronted with a sense of wonder. I wonder how many others humans are standing under the stars tonight. How many other humans feel so small in comparison with the boundless space beyond our planet? The previous thought is not to feel insignificant, but to have a sense of humility. You and I truly are so small in the grand scheme of things. The God who created you and me also created the galaxies full of perfectly positioned stars. Let us not be intimidated but encouraged that a God of this magnitude desires to know our hearts and walk through the darkest days alongside us.
At this point I have listened to Stars, by Skillet, at least twenty times. I highly recommend you listen to it at least once. Sweet friends I want you to know that I do not have it all figured out. I am still learning how to lay my life down, let the Lord fight my battles, and even allow others to fully know me. The evening tends to be the easiest time to rest in his presence. Not only do you need physical rest, but also spiritual rest. Why don’t you step outside and take a look straight up. The stars are not going to move, our God holds each and every one in place. How cool is that?
Thanks for joining me on this journey, I hope you find what you’re looking for.